Dear anybody who I’ve pissed off or let down in the last week or two. (pretty sure you’ve all got and actively Tumblr.)
Whatever I did to you, whether I spoke out of line, broke a promise, or just went out my way to upset you. I’m sorry.
I’ve apologised a thousand times to the point that the word “sorry” must be starting to not mean anything. However, it does, I know I’ve wronged you all, but I’m genuinely out of ways to make it up to you, whether it be from constant silent treatment or whether I just don’t know what to say or do anymore.
I think we could all agree that nobody’s perfect, and in the past, you can’t deny I’ve gone over and above for you. I’m not asking to be forgiven for what I’ve done/said, though I am saying I’m done apologising if it won’t be accepted or even taken notice of. Which is a shame because I consider each of every one of the people in question to be great friends who I’ve had great memories with, of hilarious times, and times that bought us closer as friends.
Everything I’ve done wrong I’ve made a concerted effort and then some to correct this, or I’m taking the necessary to change myself from being the person you and I both don’t want to be.
So, I don’t mean this in a horrible way, but you can consider this my final apology, whether you accept it or not is up to you. If you told me what I could do to save our friendship (whoever you may be), please tell me because I want to keep you all as friends and it would be terrible to let any of you go but I’ve got no cards left to play now.
Don’t take this as me giving up on you, just know that the ball is in your court(s), basically.
Closing, I love you all, and you’ve all played a part in making me a happy person in the last few years and I can’t thank you enough. Quite frankly, I don’t want to lose any of you.
So for the final time, I’m sorry for how I’ve been lately, but it’s up to you what happens from now.
Know what? I’d moan about feelings and shit but I don’t even know what to feel lately.
I’m constantly tired. Getting more pessimistic by the day.
Burned out on emotions, work, it gets darker earlier, I don’t enjoy Christmas, grumble grumble.
I need a break, from everything, even for a day. I just need something to change, anything.
I tell people I’m happy when I’m not, I don’t even know why I’m down, that’s what’s fucked.
10 hours at work tomorrow, bleh, bye.
I’m tired of being second best, get out, and find that pseudo comfort somewhere else.
(Source: sarascoggs)
